We happened to reach the kennel a little later than we had planned that day and it was quite dark already. The headlights from our car, as we drove in, shone brightly on the pups all cutely settled in a large yellow basket. We were there to choose a puppy to bring back home with us. Little did we know that the puppy would choose us instead. While most of the puppies were too tired or scared to come close to us, one playful little labrador came running over to us. She was like a little black furball, cute as a button. Yes, a black dog. Some choose to believe that having a black dog is a bad omen. To us, she was nothing short of a blessing that came knocking at our door. Bali, as we fondly called her, filled our lives and home with so much love and joy for the next 10 years. Her spirit and here vibe were so dazzling, that she instantly became an irreplaceable member of our family.

I was particularly very close to my baby girl Bali. Also my Baalu, Baaludu, Ballamma – some of the many monikers I affectionately used to call her. She was like my best friend – a soul sister who I could pour my heart out to. She would gaze at me endlessly when I spoke as if she understood every single word that I had said. And even though she couldn’t talk back, the comfort I got in sharing my joys and troubles with her was solid gold. The knowing look in her eyes as she looked straight into mine was enough reassurance to make me feel at ease.

Strangely enough, she was also the first one to bring out the “mommy” in me as she was all of six weeks old when we got her home. Caring for her taught me a lesson or two on what it would be like to love a child unconditionally, a sort of rehearsal for becoming a mother few years down the road. I had even created a few lullabies for her that she somehow knew were for her and she absolutely loved them. Loving a dog can really transform you into a better person and an even better parent.

Some of my best memories of Bali happen to be from the time I was pregnant. She was about 8 years old when I conceived – and she was as instinctive and smart as ever. Like always, she almost immediately sensed my needs during that unique phase of life and began to show extra care. It’s hard to fathom how she always knew. But trust me she did. All through this phase, she stuck to me like glue and made sure the raging pregnancy hormones and all the anticipation didn’t get the better of me. She was the perfect companion a woman could ask for while going through this transformational phase of creating another human being! My daily routine, right from the time I hopped into the car to get to work, included my lovely chaperon. Bali used to stay around me all through the morning at office and ride back home with me for lunch.

She also doubled up as my fitness trainer. We swam together from my seventh month of pregnancy until the day before my son was born. It was almost as if she had an invisible timer strapped to her collar. The alarms rang at exactly 8:30 am every morning when she used to come to my door and wait anxiously while I got ready for our daily ritual. She was a tough taskmaster in her very own playful way. I remember doing 20 laps every day and sometimes stopping to catch a breath in between. Every time I felt a bit too tired or lazy to start off the next lap, she swam half way through the pool and barked at me to join her. This is how exceptionally smart and perceptive my adorable black beauty was.

This bond between us was something very unique and extremely personal. Many a heart-to-heart tales that occupied my mind went straight to the ever-attentive ears of Bali. I spoke to her about the many fears and apprehensions I had. That I might not be able to have her around all the time once the baby was there. That I worried about her getting along with the baby as much as I wanted. In my own way, I asked for forgiveness as I knew our relationship was about to change. In her own way, she told me things would always work out fine – just through her beautiful gaze, looking straight into my heart through her eyes. Falling hopelessly in love over and over again was easy with this beautiful dog. I just had to be willing to look deeper with real involvement.

If caring for a dog, loving her was so beautiful and life transforming, becoming a mother would be so much more wonderful, I thought. True that! We brought our little boy home and were all over consumed with caring for him and keeping him comfortable. Bali was not the happiest about everyone being so preoccupied with this new creature. Not that she had any problems with the baby, but she just wasn’t too happy about not being with me round the clock. We did have another dog of her age as a companion, a male labrador we called Baba. She could hardly relate to him leave alone interact with him. She considered herself more human and preferred to be with us than with another dog. Age was also slowing her down, add to that a nagging foot injury she got from a nasty fall while chasing squirrels.

I clearly remember that day, it was 8:30 pm on New Year’s eve. I was getting ready to head out. I heard her whining outside my door. It had been months since she had been able to climb up the stairs to my bedroom door. Pleasantly surprised to hear her outside, I drew the curtains and welcomed her into my room. She looked at me, with her special gaze that always hit straight at my heart, wagged her tail and greeted my husband. Then she headed over to my son’s room, played with him dearly for a few minutes and went back downstairs. Little did we know that this was her last goodbye to us – she passed away in the early hours the following day. She looked at peace resting under my car where she took her last breath. Bali left us at the start of that year, January 1st, 2013. What a day she chose to part, so she could never be forgotten. Our possessive and perpetually love-sick puppy. She lived a great life and left in an unforgettable way too. Talking about her even today, 6 years since, makes me teary eyed. The love she brought into our lives was truly unmatched.

A home is not a home for us without a dog in it. After Baba and Bali both passed, we got another dog. She happens to look exactly like Bali, a black female labrador. She’s a beautiful dog and gets along very well with my son. Though the void that Bali left can never be filled. She was something else. Simply irreplaceable.